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Road to Marathon Day Twenty

You know, the reason that these posts are so sporadic is that there's another 800 or so days until the race.

Believe it or not, I don't have that much to say.

Slacked off a bit yesterday.  Only plugged away for six miles.  I really miss coming home to a cold beer after my long runs on Sundays.  Really.  Hard to believe, I know.

I've been pondering a bit about the nature of things like inspiration, motivation, goal setting and such.  Such thoughts may end up as a blog post at some point.

There are some large changes afoot so stay tuned and keep running.

Wuv, twoo wuv...

You know, it's easy to be cynical about relationships.  Especially as a "formerly married adult".

However, and there's always a "however" sometimes you see something that reaffirms your faith in "True Love".

I didn't know Royce and Lee Anne that well in High School, and have only got to know them a bit through Facebook.

My memory being what it is, I really didn't remember that they were a couple in HS.  Memory and typical HS self absorption. You know how it is.  Don't lie to me.

So you can imagine my surprise when events unfolded at our Class of 1982 30th High School Reunion in Las Vegas this July.

Now, I don't know these two that well and don't know the stories of their last 30 years.  What I do know, is that 30 years (give or take) later they're engaged.  Holy shit, Batman!

If these pictures don't clue you in, you're hopeless.

Congrats you guys!

Passing Speed!

This too shall pass, goes the old axiom.  It sounds good on the surface, but I'd argue that it's wrong in form and in fact.

We are moving through space and time.  Our lives are a continuum.  Events and circumstances are fence posts along our way.  We pass them.

Some take longer to pass than others, but pass them we will.

But, are we limited to passing?  Can we not take a different route altogether?  I think that we can.  We can also go over, under or through, can't we?

Sometimes events seem to over take us and it's easy to be overwhelmed.  I think we'd do well to step on the gas, roll down the windows and crank the tunes - distract ourselves and enjoy the ride.

These things too, we shall pass.

TAO of Mark

• Sometimes the firm words of a friend are the greatest kindness
• Never pass up the opportunity to try something new, no matter how weird. You may miss out on the greatest thing ever
• No one owes me anything, but I owe everyone something
• Do what you can, when you can, with what you've got
• Fatherhood is more than biology, attendance counts
• To make another laugh, this is the greatest gift
• Celebrating the success of a friend is the best
• There are more important things than being right
• Lack of understanding is directly related to the inability to communicate effectively
• Correlation does not imply causation
• Minimum effort yields minimum results
• Don't wait for perspective, be thankful and relax
• If you really enjoy being divisive, why don't you just split?
• Everything in moderation, including moderation.  Excess can be good for the soul.
• Karma is law, Grace is choice.  Love one another.
• The Hammond Organ sings in the key of melancholy
• In the face of confusion and chaos, optimism wins the day
• Reflexes make for great athletics, not politics
• It is said that perception is reality. So, if I look busy, is that the same as being busy?
• A little self loathing is OK, just don't get carried away
• Act, don't react
• When inspiration calls, you'd do well to answer
• Baby steps often become giant leaps
• Despair takes too much energy
• Say thank you
• Leap, don't look

Road to Marathon - Day Twelve

Gave the new shoes their break in run.  8 miles, because it's Sunday.

Still have some tightness in the right calf.  Funny thing is, once it's warmed up it's fine.

The new shoes turned my socks blue.

Nothing much else to report.

Riff in G

OK fellas, blues riff in G!

I've got those "the world is going to hell, don't know what I'm doing, don't know where I'm going, can't  pay my bills, lost my job and my dog ran away, but your smile makes me weak in the knees, blues"...

Happy New Year

One more trip around the sun.  Good old Sol.

I've received a whole mess of Birthday wishes today - really, quite the blessing.  Some very nice things have been said, and when I figure out who paid the bribes... (Shut up, Jeff!)

Many of you made reference to a "new year" and it occurred to me that, hey - it is a new year.  It's my New Year's Day.

Maybe this has occurred to others, I'm a bit slow on the uptake sometimes, but what a great way of looking at it.

Why shouldn't we look at our Birthdays as a New Year's Day?  We might not get the late Dick Clark's buy-in, but what the hell?

It's as a good a day as any to reflect, reevaluate and relaunch.  Sorry for the alliteration, but you get the point.

So, here's to new years and maybe a new tradition of new years' eves.  I figure we can cover most of the year at this rate.

Smile II

When I think of you
I smile

I like to smile often
so...

Smile

Your smile illuminates, radiates
my gift

to a dark world
if I can unleash it

what dread forces
conspire to hide it

that's a great evil
we've got no light to lose

so forgive
my silliness

for it may
brighten the heavens and the earth

Road to Marathon - Then and Now

August 2012

June 2006 (maybe)

I know this probably gets tedious for some folks.  Hell, it gets tedious for me.

In preparation for our office move, one of my co-workers was clearing out some old files and came across this picture from an office picnic.  At first I told her to destroy it, no one wants to see that fat bastard.

I then had her dig it out of the trash, because I need a daily reminder of, to use an over-used business term, the price of non-conformance.  Daily.  Every damn day.

310 + to 13.1 and on to 26.2.

This is why I run, and why I won't stop.

Road to Marathon - Day Five

So I've decided - fuck pain!

Did two 5s today, 5 miles and then a 5k... yeah, I know - that's like 8 miles.   But two 5s sounds cooler.  Had to run through a nagging calf pain and/or cramp.  Sucked, but like Tina says, "Suck it up, Buttercup!"

Beginning to formulate a plan for this thing.  Through the end of the year, I think I'm going to focus on improving my overall fitness and get to the point where I'm running 10miles comfortably on my weekly long run.  Then in January, I'll start training hard for the Cherry Blossom with goal of shaving my time.

I'm also thinking it would be cool to take time off from work in 2014 to dedicate to training for a marathon in the fall of that year.  We'll see how that goes...

For the meantime I've landed on the 2014 Marine Corp Marathon as my target.  It's local and it's an open marathon and it's legendary.  I have 811 days...

Until next time.

Elvis isn't dead.

Elvis isn’t dead.

Really, he's not. All of those conspiracy theories about Elvis faking his death are, you'll be surprised to know, actually true.

He got a nose job, shaved his head and moved to Tulsa. He wears glasses now. The Clark Kent bit actually works pretty well. He's run a NAPA auto parts store since 1977.

You see, he was a miserable man. Sick in the body and soul, and someone convinced him that he could make more money dead than alive and be free of that which tormented him.

Aaron Preston. That's how he's known now. He thought it'd be a bit clever to leave a small hint out there for the devoted to sniff out. I don't think anyone ever caught on.

He still makes music. Plays in a blue grass band on Wednesday nights for free drinks and wings. He doesn’t actually drink these days or eat the wings, for that matter. The band takes care of his share without complaint.

Someone once said that there are no second acts in life, but Aaron/Elvis sure has created one for himself.

Like I said, he was sick. Sick in his body and his soul. He was sick of us, and of himself. He realized that there was a problem with being the King. There was no way to live up to that except to die. He had become what they call a living legend, except the legend was not him. It was a fabrication, a specter. We poured our hopes, dreams, fantasies and aspirations into him. Onto him. It's a burden no man can bear. As he's fond of saying, “Hell, all that even killed Jesus. How was I supposed to carry it around?”.

He wept bitter tears when his former son-in-law succumbed to the weight of that load. Oh, and yes, Lisa Marie has always known. She visits frequently, as does Pricilla.

They came to Tulsa one last time yesterday.

How do I know all of this, you might ask? I know because we laid Uncle Aaron to rest yesterday. He was 77.

The King is dead, long live the King.

When I'm Gone

When I'm gone

will you say good-bye

weep and wail, dance and cry

sing a song

waxing maudlin

and sentimental

will you march

on Bourbon St

lead a parade

of freaks and family

raise your glass

and pour it out

will you hold on to hope
and light a fire

will you be changed
were you

will you remember
to tell my tale

will you come and find me
when it's your time

(thanks to AK)

Black on the Radio

An angry sun rises hot
Black on the radio

guitar rings out
in defience

Eddie tells my tale
how could he know

must be common
to all men

I'm reminded
my scheme ain't so grand

perspective is a bitch
she reveals her truth

and I've heard this song
time and again

I should know the words
by now...

The Road to Marathon - Day One

According to legend, he ran FROM Marathon to Athens.

Just a short run today, 4 miles - that will be my new minimum run.  My long runs on the weekend will need to be at least 6, hopefully 8 - we'll see.  I figure I'll see what the longer runs and decreased caloric intake will do for me in a month.

Until next time.

Stand

stand with me
let's climb the precipice

the wind in our hair
stinging our eyes

ready to soar
rise above

let's stand
together - here, now

strong in our weakness
for each other

standing...

Do You?

Do you see me now
You're about all I see

Your name is never
far from my lips

I couldn't have known it
but I've been missing you all my life

how can that be
felt it when we met

puzzle pieces
milled to fit

it can't be
this easy...

Can't

cant let myself fall
not again

not this way
not this time

cant let myself fall
not now

not here
not this then or how

cant, just cant
let myself fall

for you

Like a Donkey...

You stand on your soap box
braying like a donkey

think your words are like honey to the bee
more like filth to the fly

said the man in the mirror

The one where we dance...

Dance, baby, dance
the world ended last night

this is all we have left
shake your hair, your hips - shake your ass

Dance, baby, Dance
the sky is burning above us

but as long as we keep moving
we stand one final chance

Dance, baby, Dance

The one where I wander...

I wonder
and so I wander

there's a path
out there somewhere

straight and narrow
or steep and winding

starting is the only way
to make it to the finish

and I wonder which way to go
so I wander

looking for that star to follow
maybe to see the Southern Cross

this world has many roads
I want to roam them all

taste them all
touch them all

What do you do?

What do you do
when the tears on the pillow

finally dry
and leave no trace

what do you do
when the bed is no longer empty

and the sheets
are warm in the morning

what do you do
when the quiet is shared again

and the footfalls
are familiar

what do you do
when your dreams are full

and the nights
they're long, but not so much

what do you do

In The Sharing

Is the sharing of a tear
the same as a kiss

with a touch
so enduring

souls even closer
than an embrace

and no one
will ever understand

and we can
never tell them

The Way of Evil, The Way of Light...

"When you're lovers in a dangerous time, Sometimes you're made to feel as if your love's a crime -- But nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight -- Got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight" - "Lovers in a Dangerous Time", Bruce Cockburn

We've got to kick at the darkness 'til it bleeds daylight.  Today that rings so true.

Why do things like what happened in Colorado last night happen?  I'll be damned if I know and I'm suspicious of anyone who claims to have an explanation.

Some will be quick to blame guns and our "gun culture".  I reject that argument out-of-hand.  Prohibition doesn't work and guns are just tools.

Is it instead a societal issue?  Our violent culture?  I don't buy that either.  We are not automatons to be programmed.

Do the horrific actions of one individual say anything about anything other than their own state of being or intentions?  I don't think it does.

So then, why do we immediately search for external sources of blame in the face of such tragedies?

Not much in the way of answers, I have just as many questions as everyone else.

Was he insane?  I'm sure his attorneys will argue as much.  After all, how could a sane man do such a thing?

We are all continually in search of meaning.

Life, death, love, hate, time, space and eternity.  What does it all, or any of it mean?

Sorry if this rambles, my thoughts are much the same way right now.  More than usual.

Anyway, back to the beginning - "kicking at the darkness", it's a poetic way to say that we cannot simply stand around with our hands in our pockets.  We must act.  Everyday.

Sorry.  Was trying for profound, got jabbering instead.

Lonesome Tonight?

are you lonesome tonight
the King wants to know

do two lonely souls
make one whole

is it like the math
from our school days

are you lonesome tonight

Peace, Love & K-Town

Wow.  Just wow.

We've been there, done that, again.  Didn't we?

It's never the same twice, it never really is.

Thanks to Beth, Tina, Jeff, Kyle, Frank and Michael for all the hours of hard work to make this thing happen.  It's amazing to think we pulled it off without "boots on the ground" until a couple of days beforehand.

From the minute that Beth and Glenn and I walked into the buffet at the Nugget, it felt like home.  We just kept adding tables and chairs, the poor server never stood a chance.  We truly are like a force of nature.

Then onto drink station number one, otherwise known as Joanne and Denise's room.  Leslie just blew me away!  She even, believe it or not, made me blush apparently.  You'll have to ask someone in attendance how that happened.  No, it was not the fabled "french fry incident" (Shut up, Jeff).

I was tickled to be able to walk through the Golden Nugget, or out on Fremont Street and just "run into" a K-Towner, felt like we owned that part of town.  It felt a little like an old K-Town weekend.

I loved being able to walk in and take over a table at the 777, in spite of Rob and I getting fussed at by the hostess.  LOL, the nerve! And JUST where is the 666 brewpub, huh?

Friday night/Saturday morning at the Aria Casino felt like a night at the Flash!  Was there really a four to one ladies to guys ratio that night?  Thanks again, Michael.

The K-Town ladies were so hot, they set off the fire alarm at the Hofbräuhaus!  What a lucky bunch we are, hey guys?  Then they all topped that by dressing up Saturday night - damn you gals looked smokin'!

It was a special treat to go with Tiff to her R.I.P.P.E.D. master class.  She seriously kicked ass, mine and everyone else's.  I continue to pay for it, but wouldn't have missed it for the world, in spite of the whining.

We followed that up with a road trip to In-and-Out Burger, a definite stop on the Western Burger Road for all the lovers of good hamburgers.  It was worth the wait and the trip. (Shut up, Jeff)

Sunday's gastronomical adventure was to the fabled Heart Attack Grill.  We all survived.

I havent seen some folks literally since I left Germany, and a couple not even a Facebook connection.  I was thrilled to see Julie and Royal and meet their spouses.  It was great to also see Royce and Jeff Crump again after all these years.  So many names and faces, too many in fact to name.  I'll leave you to fill in your own blanks.  I love you all.

And not the least of which, if I can be so bold as to call her my "date" Friday night - the legendary Keri Oaks, even if we did go "dutch".  Yeah, yeah, I'm a cheap bastard! 

Hey Lois, how was that cup?

Oh, the tales there are to tell and the adventures we had...

Drinks and meals and drinks and meals and drinks and drinks and dancing and drinks.  Some things will never, ever change thank God.

I still cannot believe it's been 30 years.  In some ways it only feels like 4.

It was 4 years ago that a small group of us got together in Vegas for the first time.  It was a very unorganized vibe and laid back, but Kyle did make sure we hit the Hofbräuhaus.

Then came Kissimmee and then San Antonio and Seattle. 2009, 10, 11 and now 12!  I'm not sure about 2013, but I'm sure something will happen somewhere.

Where ever two or more are gathered, K-Town is in the house.

But it was the small, quiet moments that I'll cherish.  They were possible, even in a loud place like Vegas.  I won't name names, you know who you are.  A few of you touched me deeply this weekend, and I'll never forget those moments.  (Shut up, Jeff)

Tina's pinches don't qualify.  Plus, she's rarely small and/or quiet... Love that lady.

Say it with me, (Shut up, Jeff).

Song to Sing

I'm looking for a song to sing
she'll make me whisper, make me roar

one that will suck the wind
from my lungs, breathe life in to me

bounce my step and lengthen my stride

I can feel her wind my hair
her sun on my face

and there's a fluttering...

Time to go.

Do we travel on a fixed path? Is our course set by forces beyond our ken? Are things predestined? I sure as hell hope not.

Is free will a myth, a lie, a cruel hoax? Is our ability to make choices an illusion? Is there some external force, whether spiritual or mechanistic, pulling our strings?

I choose to believe and attempt to live as if I am the captain of my own fate. Surely we are buffeted by forces beyond our influence, we rationally know this to be true. Much like a sailing ship, we can battle or harness the wind. Sometimes we simply have to hold on for dear life, but even then, the storm passes. Occasionally, our asses get tossed in the drink. How long can you tread water?

Well, I'm done treading water. How about you?

I'm ready to set out on my path. Destination unknown perhaps, but off I go.

JRR Tolkien said that all who wander are not lost. Hell, I'm looking to get good and lost. Therein lies the grand adventure.

And if some force has me on a leash, I say better keep a good strong grip.

Thoughts on Myth

Myth and myths have always fascinated me. Religions of civilizations no longer around to defend themselves become relegated to myth status. So many common elements in many of these myths.

It's always made me wonder. We all create our own myths too, if you think about it.

Myths about who we are, about what we've done, about where we've been. Mostly, I think, we keep these myths to ourselves. They are the fuel of our hearts, souls and imaginations. They are the story we tell ourselves about ourselves.

Even our memories can take the form of myths. Especially shared memories.

We'll tell each other tales of shared memories. Sometimes there's even more truth in them than not. It matters not.

The truth is not in the telling, but in the myth. The shared myths, they give us a bond.

 ~ to be continued, maybe ~

Don't look back, you can never look back...

Wow. Just, wow! What a summer, and now it draws to an end... I knew going in that it would be a big one. I had no idea.

"We're gonna need a bigger boat..."

As the melancholy tries to get a toehold, I am filled with regret. Regret that we are all so scattered to the four corners of the globe. Regret that time is always so fleeting. Regret that we only had a weekend to recapture the spirit of so many years ago.

On the other hand, damn if we didn't do it!

The Reunion in Kissimmee really was a special time. I had no idea how special it would be. Did you? It went by so fast and there were too many connections and re-connections to make for only just a weekend.

Five minutes talking to Anita in line for dinner Friday night seems whoa-fully inadequate. A quick chat with Jenelle Saturday night - Sunday morning is a travesty.  Only seeing Kimmie and Troy in passing the whole weekend was a bummer. Bubba was a revelation! The after party at Jeff's was a joy. A post reunion beer with Stefan and Mike in DC, a revelation.

Forgive my ramblings but the whole experience touched me. It touched me when Jeannie called out to me for a slow dance. It touched me when I heard my name called out from across the room, bar, poolside by people I hadn't seen in nearly 30 years. It touched me when the "Vegas Posse" assembled for a class picture. It touched me when Denise repeatedly wouldn't let me sit out a song early that Sunday morning..."what do you mean, get up?". It touches me when I think it could all just fade away in the haze of memory.

So, in spite of what Mr Henley says, we can look back! We did look back and saw the way to the future. Colorado in December, San Antonio and Seattle in 2011 and who knows what in 2012 and 2013!

Well this was supposed to be about the joys of Summer and the anticipation of Fall, but it kind of got away from me...

So I say to you all Prost and reProst! We will all reunion again, for where ever two or more are gathered - K-Town Lives!

P.S. Thanks to Buddy and Conny for all their work.

Originally posted on Facebook August 2010

Summertime Blues...

I have a certain melancholy about Summer as an adult. Just as a Friday brings awareness of the next Monday, the start of Summer leads down the path to Autumn. Death, decay and darkness.

I'm quite the buzz-kill, I know. I can't help myself.

Maybe I romanticize Summer too much.

Growing up in an age of childhood freedom, inspired by the books of Mark Twain, I see summer in the hazy gauze of my memories. Oh how I miss those carefree adventures. Riding, running, swimming, playing ball, tag and cowboys and Indians. Cruising the roadsides and ditches for glass bottles to turn in at the local gas station for the nickel deposit to fund our snack habits. Riding to the pool and spending all day taking advantage of the summer pass that Dad bought. Building forts in the carcasses of trees knocked down by the latest storm. Building bike ramps from which we launched ourselves skyward. Trekking into the woods to that secret spot beside the stream from which we dug for crawdads, caught tadpoles and threw rocks at the water bugs. Chasing each other around the neighborhood with water guns and balloons. Slaking our thirst from any random garden hose, and then turning it on each other.

These days we dare not let our kids out of our sight. More for fear of being accused of being a bad parent than any real risk to our children, I suspect.

Now, all grown up, we drag ourselves from air-conditioned house to air-conditioned car to air-conditioned office. If we're lucky we have a seat near a window in some ghastly glass and steel beast with windows that don't open.

If we do venture outside we're nagged and warned into a state of near panic about SPF's, ticks and mosquitoes. Hell, maybe they'd be happier if we just stayed inside!

So cherish the long lazy days of Summer, there are only about 90 of them.


Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, and Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do. - Mark Twain

Originally posted on Facebook Memorial Day 2010

What I wish for for our Country.

We live in troubling times.  It probably has always been the case, but with the speed and scope of communication today, it seems doubly so. Our Country is on a bumpy ride and we're having the fillings rattled our of our collective heads.

With another Presidential election looming, we find ourselves in what seems like another endless campaign season.  Each side vilifying the other, trying to portray the opposition as part of some dark existential threat to our very existence - while their guy is a savior on a white horse come to lead us to Glory.  It sickens me.  It wearies me. It makes me angry.

I don't believe them.  I don't trust them. I believe they only seek to serve their own self interests, at our expense.

I am not naive.  I know our history.  We have always been a divided nation.  At times, however, the things that united us where greater than those things that divide us.  I still believe that is true.  I want that to be true.  It needs to be true.  Otherwise we're done.

People in power only seek to hold on to that power and are quick to attempt to manipulate the rest of us if they can in order to maintain that hold on power.  Now, I don't believe for one minute that everyone who's involved in politics or government is driven by nefarious purposes.  There's no doubt that some are, but I know many are good, ethical and honest public servants.  I don't wish to besmirch them, throwing the good out with the bad.  Just to be clear.

I also reject the idea of a grand secret conspiracy to take over and rule the world.  It's not much of a secret anymore, considering how much I hear about it from some believers.   Whatever.

We were founded on great ideas, by great idealists.  While not claiming either of those for myself, I'd like to share some ideas for our Country.

•  E Pluribus Unum, out of one, many.  We are a nation of immigrants.  We need to stop vilifying immigrants and at the same time make a rational path to immigration and citizenship.  Hospitality to the "alien" is a foundational concept from our Judeo-Christian legal heritage.  We need to change this or take down that Statue in New York Harbor.
• At the same time, we are a nation of laws.  We have to be.  The problem is, we have too many laws.  So many that our lawmakers and law enforcers don't even always know what's legal and what's not.  Often justice is not served.  We don't even have a justice system any longer, it's simply a legal system.  Forget what's just and right - what's legal?  People lose respect for the law, the lawmakers and law enforcement when the law becomes so burdensome and convoluted. The US Code and it's counterparts at the State and local level needs a serious paring.
• Our Military is bloated and out-of-date, both in its size and mission.  We have them spread too far and wide.  When we have troops on food stamps, we have a problem with priorities.  I would completely rebuild our military.  Down size the Army and Air Force in favor of the Navy and Marines.  Creating a more nimble force that can project itself globally.  A few years ago, the USN responded to the Indonesian tsunami - it was us at our best.  They saved untold lives.  I've alway been of the opinion that the Navy should have been given the Nobel Peace Prize that year, but alas...  In any event, the DOD is grossly bloated and needs to be more efficient and thrifty. It's time to bring them home from Europe and Asia.  
• We need universal health care.  I find it embarrassing that we thump our chests about how great we are when we have families driven into bankruptcy because of medical bills.  Health insurance companies exist to serve only their executives and stockholders.  I don't know how we do it, but we need to do it.  Period.  We put men on the moon, we can figure out a way to do this.
• It's time to end the "War on (insert name here)".  These "wars" have turned into either bottomless money pits or attacks on our civil liberties, usually both.  Why do we declare war on ourselves?  Why? It's madness.
• Everyone deserves equal protection under the law.  Straight, gay, black, white, male, female, adult or child.  Period.  We all have the same rights, or none of us have rights.  If rights are denied by some by the votes of others, who's next?  
• I would revoke the tax exempt status of religious organizations.  Think of the revenue.  Then churches and clergy would be completely free to preach what ever they wanted from their pulpits, to include endorsing political candidates.  Why should any of the rest of us fund your religion?  I think this can be clearly supported by the First Amendment. 

So, that's a start.  Let's get on it right away.  Before Congress lets out for their Summer vacation, ok?  I've got travel plans in July, so I can't help until after I get back from Vegas.  Who want's to take the lead?

There are many things to be pessimistic about, but I refuse to take the bait.  I think there are bright things ahead for our County - now to just get there.

Another chapter fragment

I met Tom Sawyer once. He was sitting on a porch in Lawrence, Kansas with Les Paul, smoking one of those cheap ass cigars that he liked. The smell was not unlike the one that came from under the hood of the car right before the big plumes of white smoke. I knew I shouldn't have tried to drive this piece of shit all the way across the county, I thought, as I rolled to a stop on the shoulder of the highway.

The sun was starting to set, so setting out on foot wasn’t wise. This part of the country was not terribly safe to start with, let alone at night. Ever since things went all to hell, the countrysides were particularly perilous for travelers.

The old Sioux tribes thought it would be a good time to reclaim their ancestral lands from the white man's government. They had quite a bit of success at first, ranging as far south as the Red River and well into what used to be Canada. That is until they started to run into the Lycans and the Zombies.

The Lycans were a strange phenomena indeed. At first it was thought that they were actual werewolves, right out of an old Hollywood horror film. Turns out they were actually a new species of wolf. It was almost as if they were a human-wolf crossbred of some kind. Stories of government experiments abounded, and might well be true. Like many things these days, the truth doesn’t really matter, what matters is steering clear of them. They travel in packs and mostly at night, so shelter at night was very much a necessity.

The Zombies, on the other hand, were nothing like what they appeared to be. When things went to shit, some people went completely off the deep end. Tribes formed and took whatever measures they had to to survive, including cannibalism. The Zombies were just that, tribes of cannibals. They would cover themselves in blood and entrails to terrorize other tribes and settlements. It was quite effective and their legend grew – more than just stories to scare the kiddies, they were bad news and their numbers were growing.

So night travel, especially alone was out of the question. Staying put was risky enough, but far safer than trying to cover open country after dark.

I waited until the last of the day's light faded and crawled in the back seat of the car, covering up with an old Army blanket and leaving a window cracked so the glass didn’t fog up. That's a dead give away!

I slept a fitful, dream filled sleep. I dreamt of her again, like every other night. The mind is a cruel thing sometimes. It would be a blessing to be able to forget.

I was awakened by a banging on the window. Holy Shit! I thought I was done for, but it turned out to be a cop? A cop, what the hell is a cop doing out here? I rolled the window down a bit and said, “um, yes officer?”

“Out of the car”, he shouted. I complied, seeing that he was armed and I wasn’t in any position to argue. He was part of something called the Nebraska Militia Marshall Service.

“What the hell are you doing out here, boy?” he wanted to know. Not really knowing myself, I just answered, “Car died.”

“Where are you headed?” “West” I said, stating what I thought was the obvious.

“Don't get smart with me boy, I can see you're headed west. Where west?”

“Just west, sir, just west. Until I find somewhere to stop.” Not wanting to tell him that I was hoping to get to the Utah Territory. I used to know someone out there and it was rumored to be fairly safe and stable.

This apparently satisfied his official curiosity. “Well, I can't help you with that. But you'd better keep moving. Things aren’t safe for travelers and there's not much in the way of Law these days.” The irony of his statement was not lost on me.

He offered me a couple of bottles of water, which I gladly accepted, and climbed into his pickup truck and drove away without even a wave. Serve and Protect, huh?

People have become pretty untrusting ever since the Fall, and I guess that's to be expected. When everything you've come to believe turns out to be a fiction and the people who were supposed to hold civilization together either fled or hid it's understandable that trust would be in short supply.

I often think about what happened. We always expected the end to come in some grand cataclysm. A war or a plague or maybe some huge natural disaster. But no, things just kind of deflated like a kiddie pool with the stopper pulled out. First the economies started to fail and that snowballed. They called it the Second Great Depression. Then companies started to shutdown, millions and millions suddenly without work. No work, no taxes to pay the government. No taxes, no safety net. It was really quite simple, the world's wealth just seemed to vanish in to a void. The super wealthy held out a bit longer than most, but even they had to buy groceries and no one was stocking the stores out of the kindness of their hearts. Quite the opposite actually happened pretty fast. Looting was wide spread and short lived.

People then just started to retreat into survival mode. I was in Dallas when the grid finally went off line. The whole country went dark in about 48 hours. There were a couple of nuclear reactors that went critical. Heard tell that Atlanta is gone. Apparently the CDC lost containment and their countermeasures set the whole city aflame.

I was lucky at first, I ran into Sam Houston and Davy Crockett just north of Dallas. They were starting a settlement and were looking for workers. They had guns and farmland, so I stayed on for a couple of months, until Spring. No point in trying to travel during the winter, especially heading west across the Rockies.

I set out that morning determined to get as far as the next shelter. It wasn’t smart to go any farther. You just couldn’t know when you'd happen on upon the next one, daylight or not.

The road was starting to climb into the foothills. I would soon miss the flatness of the prairie.

I was reminded of Lewis and Clark's westward expedition and wondered if it would be smarter to follow a river's path west, but thought better of it. The road was easier to travel on and no telling what kind of beasties would be lurking about the river banks. That and rivers didn’t tend to travel in much of a straight line.

So, onward toward the mountains...  

Chapter 1ish...

This is a little something I started back in November during the National Write a Novel in a Month program.  I didn't even come close to completing anything, but I have some chapter fragments that I'm going to post. 

I met her in Johannesburg in 2004. I was there on business. What kind of business is not important. I was out for a morning run when I saw her. She was sitting in front of a coffee shop. Sitting with her feet on on the chair next to her when I noticed those legs. Oh, those legs! Anyway, I was noticing, noticing hard when I stepped awkwardly off of the curb and just about took a header. She saw me and laughed and said to me, “very graceful!”. I couldn't let that go, now could I? “Why thank you”, I said, “I do what I can”, with a sly embarrassed smile. I was completely busted, so I thought I'd seize the moment. “Hi”, I said, “come here often?”. Knowing full well how lame that sounded. She just smiled and shook her head. “You're really in trouble here, you know that right?” She smiled and cocked an eyebrow. I was already sweating from the run, but that look made it even worse. She had the most amazing green eyes, like emerald stars. They just sparkled. I thought to myself, this is already worth the embarrassment. She was really something to behold, those eyes and hair so red it looked like it came out of a spray can. I had never seen hair that color. Her skin was not quite white, not like most redheads. It had more of a creamy color, covered with more freckles than I've ever seen on any one body. And, as I found out later, they were all over. Including a funny little pattern at the top of the cleft of her ass that kind of looked like a rabbit. Anyway, I muttered something about buying her a cup of coffee. She just laughed and pointed at the cup on the table. “Tell you what”, she said, “I'll let you buy me lunch”. I almost choked. How did I manage to pull this one off, I thought to myself. “I'll meet you in your hotel lobby at 1”, she told me. I started to ask how she knew what hotel I was staying in, and she interrupted, “You're American right, Americans always stay in the Crown Plaza”. She had me there. “Ok, I'll see you at 1, and don't be late – I don't wait”, she commanded. I could only sigh a sarcastic “Yes Ma'am”. “That's a good boy, go now and finish your run”, she told me.

So off I ran, or more accurately, glided along my route and back to the hotel. This was too good to be true and likely was just a ruse to get rid of me, the clumsy American boy. I got back to the hotel, ordered some room service coffee and breakfast and took a nice long hot shower. Nice thing about 5 star hotels around the world – plenty of good coffee and hot water. Globalization was sometimes a good thing after all.

I was in the lobby at 12:45, just to be safe. I found a chair with sight lines to both street level entrances so that I would see her coming regardless of her approach. I tried to relax with a little music from the iPhone. Finally decided on some My Morning Jacket. Didn't want something too heavy, but nothing too poppy either, so MMJ seemed just right. I tend to obsess about music like that for some reason, every situation has to have just the right soundtrack. So there I sat, trying to relax and pay attention to the music without much success. I found myself tensing up every time one of the doors started to open. 1Pm came and went. Sucker, I thought – what a sucker. She certainly had me figured out and played me. Just as I was about to get up, I heard her from behind me. “Well, what are you waiting for?” This was not the last time she completely foiled my plans and caught me off guard. “What are you listening to?” I told her. “Never heard of them”, she said, “Let's eat.”

She suggested an Indian place around the corner. I've not had much Indian food, so I let her order for me. More correctly, she ordered for the both us and then asked me if I minded. The look on her face let me know that it didn’t really matter if I did or not. I just laughed and shook my head. I really didn’t stand a chance and I knew it and I didn’t give a damn. This woman already had a hold on me. This woman, her name was Linda.

We took our time with lunch. It turns out the South Africans make some damn fine wines too. We drank some, and then we drank some more. Our lunch slowly burned through the remainder of the afternoon. The waiter indicated that they needed to prepare for the dinner service and we would need to be packing it in. I paid our tab, over tipping of course. No point in looking cheap. We stepped out into the late afternoon sun. It was a beautiful October day, and the sun was warm but not overly so. I asked her if she had to go, or if she'd like to take a walk. She was game. We walked a few blocks and low and behold, what did we find, but a wine shop! We bought a couple of bottles of a nice SA Riesling.

Rather than figure out how to get away with drinking wine on the street we headed back to the hotel. As we entered the lobby, she set me straight. “We are not going up to your room”, she said. I attempted a protest, saying that I would not be so presumptuous. She shushed me and said, “let's go the garden.” So we did. We found a table in the corner, away from the pool. The waiter was kind enough to ignore the “outside” beverages and brought us a couple of glasses. When I say kind enough, he responded properly to the appropriate and not unexpected bribe.

We sat and talked in the fading light. We laughed and laughed. Her laugh was soft and sing-songy and her nose crinkled just so when she did. She took great pleasure in making sport of me, finding something funny in everything I shared with her. I didn’t mind, didn’t mind at all. Simply having her pay me attention was enough. I was happy to be her comic foil. I was clearly smitten.

The time passed quickly, but at the same time the day felt timeless – like we'd been together for days. As it turned out, we would be. As we poured the last of the wine, we were informed that we'd have to clear out, the pool area was closing for the night.

She was true to her word. As we walked to the lobby, she slipped her arm around my neck and gave me a soft kiss. “Dinner, tomorrow – I'll call for you.” She stepped through the revolving door and into a cab and she was gone.

And I was a goner. I don't remember the elevator ride up to my floor, or letting myself into my room. I found myself standing looking out the window at the lights of the city wondering what had befallen me. I don't know how long I stood there, but it eventually occurred to me that I did have a job and I had meetings tomorrow, so I'd better get some sleep. I slept the sleep of child on Christmas Eve. Dreaming soft, warm gauzy dreams full of long legged redheads!

The next morning was ordinary. Got in a run and coffee before the first meeting. Thankfully, they served a light breakfast. The meetings seemed to drag on and on, but finally ended about 3. That was a bit earlier than I expected, so I thought I'd get in a swim before dinner. I found out that wasn’t to be the case when I returned to my room. There was a note on the bed from the front desk. 5Pm, out front was all it said. I didn’t have to be told twice. I wasn’t sure where we were going, so I figured I'd better try to be prepared for anything. I put on my linen suit, with a blue shirt – no tie. I figured that would be versatile enough.

I stood on the curb for about 5 minutes when a powder blue Audi TT stopped. Of course, I thought, perfect. I got in. She was stunning! She had on a yellow sun dress with a wrap of some kind around her shoulders. Looks like I guessed right. “Ready?”, she asked. She didn't wait for an answer before pulling out and whipping a quick u-turn.

We stopped in front of a restaurant. It looked like some kind of steakhouse, not unlike what you'd find in New York or Chicago. Fine, that works for me – I love a good steak, I thought to myself. The Matrie'D knew her, “Good evening Miss Linda”. Dinner was nice, she was charming and of course we lingered again.

And so it went for the next week. We dined frequently and even danced occasionally. She was always firm, but never insistent in getting her way. I was usually happy to oblige, and even when I resisted I fell victim to her charms.

One week to the day of our meeting, I was awakened by a knock on my hotel room door. It was early, but already light outside. I wondered who it could be, never guessing it was her. I opened the door, she pushed into me and kissed me hard on the mouth, never saying a word.

She squeezed past me as I shut and locked the door. I turned around to see that she had already almost completely disrobed. I went to her.

We made love for the first time that morning. We spent the day repeating ourselves, with barely a word spoken.

Morning stretched into afternoon, afternoon into evening. I mentioned calling for room service – we hadn’t eaten yet today. “No”, she said, “Let's go out. You've earned a good meal.” Her smile was sly and a bit mischievous, and I was not about to argue.

We walked around the corner to “our” Indian place. She didn't want to go far from the hotel. I took that as a good sign, a real good sign. As before, she ordered for the both of us and we had more wine. This time however, we didn't linger nearly as long.

Apparently dinner was just what she needed. She was ravenous. She started tearing at my clothes in the elevator, and it was all I could do to fight her off until we were back in the room. Not that I was trying too hard, mind you.

We made love again. This time she was on fire. We fell exhausted into each others arms and slept.

I slept the dreamless sleep of the contented, wrapped around her naked body.

We woke together as morning streamed in through the windows. She was more beautiful than ever in that soft light. She rolled over, smiled and kissed me, “Good morning love” she whispered. I was in heaven. How did this happen, I wondered to myself.

I ordered coffee and we sat in silence and smiled at each other like school kids. There didn’t seem to be anything to talk about that was worth interrupting this mood, this moment.

“I could use some breakfast, how about you?” I asked her. “Of course, let's go downstairs”, she answered. We showered together and dressed. I was a bit out of my mind at my good fortune.

“What are you thinking?” She asked me. “Oh nothing”, I lied. She laughed and punched me in the shoulder. “You're so full of shit”, she said, laughing again. I just smiled and winked at her.

We sat at breakfast in the hotel restaurant, enjoying the energy of the morning crowd, making chit-chat and laughing with the folks at neighboring tables.

“I must be off”, she said, “I have business to attend to today.” “On a Saturday?” I asked, “what kind of business?” She just waved off the question and said that she'd be back this afternoon and not to wander off too far. With that she jumped up, kissed me and was gone before I could even stand up. “Wow”, I thought, “that woman moves with a purpose and with a really nice ass”.

I spent the day lounging poolside, going over proposals and contracts. Well, more like napping poolside with a bucket of beers and a folder of proposals and contracts serving as a coaster. It was a warm day with a nice breeze blowing through the garden. I was happy and content and just a little buzzed as I dozed in and out of my nap.

I was startled awake by something touching my foot. I looked up to see Linda standing there running her finger up the sole of my foot. “Oh, you're ticklish!”, she said with a fiendish grin, “I wish I had known!” “Oh, shit – my secret's out” I yelped, faining shock.

This is why Baseball is the greatest game.

OMG!  This was a most epic game!  The Washington Nationals vs the New York Yankees.

Briefly...  I put my car in the shop this morning for routine maintenance, so I was on foot for the day.  I was at home, waiting for the call from the dealership and watching the National's game.  The dealer called around about the fourth inning.  I think the Nats were ahead.  I headed out to walk to the dealership to get the car.

OK, let me insert an aside here because it's as good a place as any.

The New York Yankees are the sports franchise equivalent of the Evil Galactic Empire from Star Wars.  You either hate them or love them.  No one is ambivalent about the Yankees.  If you say you are, you're just kidding yourself - you're really a Yankee fan. And the Washington Nationals are like the Rebel Alliance.  Why? Red, that's why and it's my metaphor and I say so.  How can a team from the Heart of Evil represent the Rebel Alliance, you might ask.  You might.  But it's my metaphor, deal with it.

This totally has everything to do with the fact that I'm a life-long Kansas City Royals fan.

Oh, Yankees fans totally know this and love it.  No, Billy Martin is not Darth Vader...

Anyway...

After running a couple of errands and doing some grocery (read that as beer and steaks) shopping, I got home.  Being such a beautiful day, I grabbed a beer and a book and headed for the deck.  I got a good 90 minutes before the back yard was in the shade.

I then headed inside, got on the MacBook and thought, "let me check on the Nats score".  I got to MLB.com and lo and behold, the game is still on, in extra innings.

So, I jump in the recliner and put on the game.

So we come to the 14th inning and the Yankees score two to break the 3-3 tie.

The Nats come to bat at the bottom of the 14th.  There's two men on and two outs. (cue ominous cello and organ music)

The rookie phenom, Bryce Harper comes to the plate.  He's 19, you know.

Now, here's where the magic of destiny and fate come to baseball like no other game.

Our Hero is 0 for 6 on the day.  Here he is faced with the opportunity to strike a heroic pose, or go out in flames, like Icarus.

A homerun would win the game and elevate the legend of young Bryce to Mantle levels.  A raging strike out would be equally as legendary - the breaking of the young colt.

Instead, we get the proletarian option.  Surely not meaning to, Harper simply grounds out.  He makes the simplest and most common play a batter makes.  He grounds out.  He finishes 0-7.

There will be days that he mounts Olympus, just not today.

I love this about baseball.  That and the beer and hotdogs, they pretty much rock too.

What a waste.

Damn you, Jeff.

My friend Jeff posted his HS Graduation picture on Facebook today to commemorate the 30th anniversary of our graduation.  Tina even coined a Bushism - Gradiversary for the observance.

The whole thing has got me in a deep melancholy funk.  You see, one week from today would have been the 29th anniversary of my marriage.  A marriage that ended a year ago February.  

It's normal at times like this to reflect and take a measure of your life.  I'm not happy with my score.  

I should have listened to my Mother.  This is the one and only time you'll hear me say that.  

I was too young.  I did my best to be a good husband and father.  I never lied to her, never hit her or cheated on her.  There was a stolen, drunken kiss one night 20 plus years ago that was confessed to and forgotten. Or so I thought...

I tried to be a worthy husband, I guess we can see how I scored there.  

So now I find myself with a house I didnt want, in a town I didnt want to live in and debt I can't get a handle on.  Here is where my military bratness back-fired on me.  "I can live anywhere", I said, "as long as you're happy with it."  Hell, I was happy in Reston living in an apartment.  Granted, it was too small for our growing family, but Stafford?  

Funny how the job I've been wanting to leave for the last 10 years or so turns out to be the only stable, reliable thing I've got.

Now what?  I can't go anywhere because I can barely stay on top of my bills, let alone save money to move.  I'm not sure I can sell the house, but if I did then what?  It is maddening.

I feel betrayed and devalued.  If I thought I could get away with it, I'd burn the place to the ground and slip away under cover of night.  

My true friends are scattered around the country, even the planet.  

Everyone has their issues, and I'm sure no one wants to hear mine.  

I truly don't know what to do with myself.  How long can someone tread water?  

I'm sorry, don't mean to bring anyone else down...

(Picks up soapbox and exits stage left)

Love to Run, then we drink...

I love to run my mouth,
love it when my mind is racing

to run my hands across your curves,
my fingers through your hair

mostly though, I love to run
trails, hills, sand, pavement or the trusty treadmill

the sweat in my eyes,
dripping from my nose, my hair, down my back

the way it shapes my legs,
less like ham hocks everyday

the way it makes my gut bounce,
knowing that it's not long for this world

the challenge of keeping tempo,
with the beat, with my heart, my breath

the wall I hit,
hit it hard today, harder still tomorrow

How We Remember

This weekend in the USA we celebrate Memorial Day, a day for remembering our war dead.  It has become the de facto beginning of Summer, yet we still take time to stop and remember and say a prayer of thanks for those who've made the ultimate sacrifice for our county.  Remembrance and honor.

It's gotten me to thinking about the nature of memory and it's step-child, nostalgia.

Memory is a funny thing.  Two people can have such different recollections of the same events.  I've always wondered about that, how it could be.  It seems that our memories are subject to the many things that shape our perspectives, our perceptions, our reality.

Events that are crystal clear in our minds today may fade and become fuzzy over time, the rough edges of memory smoothed and rounded like pebbles in a stream.  Is it a self defense mechanism or more like a file storage thing?  I don't know the answer, I just know that it seems to be true.

As a result, we tend to view our past through a gauzy haze - all sweetness and light.  Full of soft focus and shadows.  Even the painful events can take on a lower level of intensity over time.  Obviously, some events become seared into our hearts, minds and souls and appear to be the exceptions to this rule.

The happy seems happier, and the painful, more so.  Can either really be trusted?  I don't know.  I'm just making an observation here.

I do believe, however, that we can become trapped in these memories.  They represent some idillic reality that we wish would return.

Well, unless you have a TARDIS or a DeLorean, you're not going back.

Sometimes we even seek shelter in this place from the present and the future.  Life is hard and everyone has a struggle.

As for me, I resolve to leave the past behind, where it belongs.  Sure, it has shaped who I am today, but I will not allow it undue influence on my today or my tomorrows.

So, here's to today and tomorrow!  I can only live today and plan for tomorrow.  Hope and plan.  We have no guarantee of tomorrow.  Hell, not so sure about the rest of today.

Let's make memories that can't be trusted...

Get busy livin', or ...

MCA was only five days older than I am.  Also known as Adam Yauch, he was one third of the Beastie Boys.  Cancer took him in less than four years. Sonofabitch!  Cancer really sucks.

In addition to founding the groundbreaking Beastie Boys, MCA created an independent film studio and was a Peace Activist and a supporter of Tibetan independence.

I was never the biggest Beastie Boys fan, though I like and appreciate their art.  There's no denying the place they have in music history.  Hell, they were just inducted into the Rock N'Roll Hall of Fame.

I'm not one to play the comparison game, especially when celebrities are involved.  I was thinking about his passing today while running and I was just struck by how much he accomplished in his life.

I'll never be a musician or own a movie studio, but there are things that I am and things that I am becoming and things that I will be someday.  There are also things that I am not any longer and things I don't wish to be any more.  I'm sure you can say the same thing about yourself.

Don't make excuses, make choices.

He was just a kid in a college dorm room once.

What I've Learned Along The Way

A few years ago I found myself spending the night in the hospital.  You see, I thought I was having chest pains, so off I went to the ER and of course they admitted me for tests.  This in spite of the fact that all of the initial results came back negative.  Sounds like bill padding you say?  Maybe, but I'm sure they saw a ticking time bomb and wanted to be sure.

I was tipping the scales at over 310 pounds, was on meds for high BP, cholesterol  and anxiety.  I was fully living a death-style, if you will, that was sure to end me earlier rather than later.

So, you'd think that I left the hospital resolved to do something about my weight and my health, right?  You'd be so wrong!  Since all of the tests came back negative, I guess I thought I still had time to destroy my body before it caught up with me.  Turns out, I was right, after a fashion.

In 2008 I discovered Facebook.  My friend from High School, Jeff Strohaver, convinced me to sign up.  Soon, I was reconnecting with old classmates at a rapid clip.  Having attended HS in Germany, this was quite a big deal to me.

There was one connection that has made the biggest difference, however.  We weren't particularly close in school, but have become great friends in the last three years.  That will happen when someone saves your life, I reckon.

As it turns out, she's a fitness professional.

One day, I made a half-assed post on FB about making an excuse to not hit the fitness center at work.  I got a response of something to the affect of "no excuses".  This was the beginning of the end of that deathly spiral.

We chatted online and off and she agreed to help me get started, if I would commit to following her guidance.  I agreed.  This was big for me, I'm not one to follow along, but I knew I couldn't do this solo.

So we started.

She gave me a meal plan that reduced my calories and replaced bad ones with good ones.  It was tough at first, but I got used to it.

I began by walking, just walking.  I had a 3 mile circuit in my neighborhood that I would walk six days a week.  Soon, she had me add cardio and weight training in the fitness center at the office.

The pounds literally began to melt away.  I was averaging about 10 pounds a month in lost weight for that first six months or so.

At the beginning of 2010 I had a physical with my new HMO.  My BP was close enough to normal that the doctor took me off of the meds.  The same for the cholesterol and anxiety meds.  I was free from prescription medications for the first time in over a decade!

I still had a long way to go.

That same month I joined a proper gym.  I was in the gym six days a week.  Doing cardio and weights and group exercise classes.  I even flirted with yoga for a while.

In October of 2010 I ran my first 5k and in April of last year, my first long race - the Cherry Blossom 10 Miler.  I followed that up with a half marathon in New Jersey in October.  Apparently I've turned into a runner.  I went from 310+ to 13.1 miles in less than three years.  I commemorated my accomplishment with a tattoo on my right calf.

I have gone from wearing XXL sized shirts (XXXL in some cases) to now buying Larges. My waist has shrunk from 50 inches to 36.  Sadly, I haven't gotten any taller or smarter.

I'm only just getting started.  I still have weight to lose and miles to run.  Another friend has got me interested in trail running and yet another, cycling again.  The spectre of a full marathon lurks out there somewhere.  I want to shave 20 minutes off of my 10 mile time for next year's Cherry Blossom Ten.

I will turn 50 in two years and 4 months and I plan on hitting that number at a sprint!

So, why do I tell you this?  Who cares, right?  Maybe someone.

I've learned some things, maybe they'll help you.

• You will start slow, and it will hurt and it will suck. That's ok.  I spent the better part of that first year in a state of constant pain.  Sore muscles, sore joints and the occasional abrasion from a face plant or three.  Lost a really nice water bottle on one of those trips!
• You need support.  It's key to have some one who will call you on your bullshit and not brook any excuses.  It's real easy to talk yourself into staying in bed or coming home and tucking into that pizza instead of hitting the gym or the road.  I got talked out of many pizzas and burgers in the early days via text message.
• Weight is a number and your scale is evil!  I think a better measure is how your clothes fit.  Pun intended! Seriously, it's complicated.  Muscle weighs more than fat, etc... blah, blah, blah - math is hard.  If you are downsizing your clothes, you're on the right track.
• Did I mention it will suck? 
• It will take time to feel comfortable in your new skin. I still don't always recognize myself in the mirror.
• It might get expensive at times.  Gym membership, protein powders, workout clothes, energy bars... but I think I'm still spending less for than I was for HMO co-pays.
• On the plus side, you get to buy new shoes!  Frequently, if you take up running.
• It's for a good cause!  I've given probably 10 large green garbage bags of clothes to the AMVETS in the last couple of years.  
• On the down side, my collection of concert shirts all are now too big.  They'll be a quilt some day.
• People will be watching you for inspiration.  Your success will inspire them to begin and carry on.  Trust me, this is the truest truth.

So anyway... that's the story so far.

Watch this space.

Hate in a Happy Place

You tell me it's wrong to hate
but I say hate is the way of justice

these things I hate
with a the heat of a forger's fire

attacks on the the weak
slurs against the innocent

worship of the powerful
theft from the poor

the terrorizing of the fairest among us
and the denigration of those who serve

the elevation of self
the promotion of the unworthy

judgement against the other
and fear-mongering

manipulation and subterfuge,
and false witnesses

so, love what is true
and hate the lie

for this is the way
to peace and love

A Sunday thought...

This is my church...

The love in my heart,
the dreams in my head

The expanse of the universe
unfurling inside and around

That we love one another
and care for the weak

The warmth of your hand in mine
and a smile in the morning

The dew on grass,
a songbird's chorus

Hope and dreams,
faith and friends

The rising of another sun
and the setting of the same

Over and over...

Mic Check...

Hey, is this thing on? Tap, tap, tap - check 1, check 2....